Age 40, New York, NY

“If you were to rank your emotional needs, what would you put as top 5 (admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment)”

 

Is wine an “emotional need?”

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Age 29, New York, NY

“Hi, great profile and well, you are very pretty! How is this going so far? Oh, as for me I am very attractive, smart, and fun, too – I could email pix 🙂 ”

 

No.

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Age 27, New York, NY

“Let’s just start out with the fact that I’m kind of a big deal.”

 

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Age 32, Long Island, NY

“Hi 🙂 Love your pics you look fabulous.

[1 day later] Hi I like your profile and your pics alot you look absolutely gorgeous. Can I ask you something please ? Its not inappropriate or sexual 🙂

[1 day later] Hi I like your profile and your pics alot you look absolutely gorgeous. Can I ask you something please ? Its not inappropriate or sexual 🙂 ”

 

I think there’s a glitch in your system, bro.

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Age 31, Brooklyn, NY

“Come get a drank or dranks

[1 day later] I wanna lick your pussycat until you cream and you can kiss me and we can taste it together.”

 

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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Age 42, Brooklyn, NY

“Hi, my name is ***** and i think you are very very attractive! I would simply looooove to photograph you, after meeting for a meal or some drinks of course. Would that be something you’d consider?

[22 minutes later]  Oh well… Never hurts to try. Glad that I did. Have a very pleasant weekend. Farewell.”

 

This would 100% be the date that kills me. 

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Age 28, New York, NY

“Hi how are you hey wowwyou are so beautiful you should be in the 7 wonders of the world;-). . . . . . . I hope to know more about you 🙂 beautiful lady I hope you answer :-*”

 

Whatever drugs you’re on… I want some.

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